When we comprehend why we get envious, we can oversee it in a way that is humane and useful. Perceiving and grasping your partner’s persisting vulnerabilities, and in addition your own, will reinforce your relationship. Envy in a relationship can be more about your own vulnerabilities than about your partner’s activities. For example, you might be inclined to envy on the off chance that you’ve had excruciating encounters in your past. It’s essential to converse with your partner about these encounters so you can be aware of one another’s triggers and regard them.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don’t feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship. It’s not healthy for partners to spend 100% of their time together. Remember that feelings aren’t facts. Are you imagining things that aren’t really there?
Feelings of jealousy can become problematic if they affect your behavior and your feelings toward the relationship as a whole. Here are some signs of unhealthy jealous behaviors : Checking your spouse’s phone or email without permission; Insulting your spouse; Assuming that your spouse is not attracted to you; Grilling your spouse on their whereabouts throughout the day; Accusing your spouse of lying without evidence. If you recognize any of these behaviors in your relationship, seek to understand the vulnerabilities beneath.
Jealousy in a relationship can also be a very real and reasonable reaction to your partner’s actions. Remember that in a good enough relationship, people have high expectations for how they’re treated. They expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. They expect their partner to be loyal and honest. If the answer to the question “Is that so?” is yes, then it’s important to tell your partner how you feel before your jealousy turns into resentment. When your bring it up, stick to “I” statements and avoid saying things like “you always” or “you never.” Talk about your feelings about the specific situation and avoid blanket statements about your partner’s character. Say what you need, not what you don’t need.
The more you talk, the healthier your relationship will be. Is there a specific relationship that is making you uncomfortable? Are you finding that you are being stonewalled or that your partner’s behavior has recently changed? You and your partner should be open and upfront with each other about friendships and work relationships. Transparency will help you feel more secure. Show one another how much you value each other by putting your relationship before your work, your coworkers, and your friends. Every time you do this, you build trust. By understanding what is driving your feelings and honoring each other’s endearing vulnerabilities, you can use jealousy for good.