Think about this: You get into an relationship with dreams, trusts and starry eyes. You begin to think perpetually, with each butterfly that ripples in your tummy. Then, incidentally, you meet another person. Or then again you start to discover things which hurt or make you frantic… Ultimately, you come to the heart of the matter when you need to reveal to him you can’t do this any longer. Whatever the reason or whatever feelings you feel, the main distinction between one separation and the other is the means by which it’s finished. So how would you dump a person in the most classy way? There is a classy method to disappoint them but then do it immovably.
How to break up
The first rule is to never ever break up on the phone and especially not with a text. On the other side of the line is a real person with a face, flowing blood and pained feelings. Don’t be a coward, she concludes. Right up there on the list with that is the broadcast breakup. When Zari tells us it is over with Diamond, as if she owes the world an explanation, there are those who agree with her methods and those who do not care. To each their own, but there is a line that can be crossed. Apart from the occasional sex tape (which I suppose is a whole other lesson in class), we are not part of your innermost, private lives. Spare us the drama, details and ugliness of it all. There is a reason words like private and personal exist. Find it in your heart to apply them to your life.
So apparently, in this era of ghosts – teachers, students, refugees and equipment – there is also a concept known as ghost breakups. It would be funny, if it wasn’t so sad. Someone just stops taking your calls and moves house. You wonder if you dreamed up the whole relationship in the first place. You are saying I do not want to be with you. Say it and leave. Don’t just vanish into thin air. Have some class. There are a million other ways to have no class in breaking up. To be rude, no matter how angry you are, says more about your tasteless manners than your anger.
To tell a blatant lie in a blame game intended to make you look like some victim is to be less than base. Stay above it. Break up with class. You will thank yourself later when you find that that polite, honest, face-to-face conversation earns you more respect in your departing than you probably had when you first met. You will be glad that in that firmness you portray without having the world check out your dirty linen, there may be a certain degree of sorrow, but there’s all round closure. Which is what you want, right?
