For a very long time early marriage was a common practice in Nigeria. Some of our mothers got married at 15, 18 or in their very early 20’s. It might surprise you to know that some where given in marriage at an even earlier age. Though to a lower extent now, early marriage is still very much practiced. As a Matter Of Fact an unmarried girl between the ages of 27 and 35 in a typical Nigerian home is a cause for prayers and I mean serious prayers. Once she crosses 35 at home, she loses her respect from her siblings and even parents all together. She is taunted until she finds a way to leave the house; either by marriage (if finally their prayers are answered) or out of frustration. This of course shouldn’t be news to you if you’re a true Nigerian. A woman’s respect and value has always been reasonably associated with her marital status.
Actually in Edo state, the south south of Nigeria there is a popular saying that “Uyi oghokwo, Okpia yahen” which means that a woman’s glory is in the hands of her husband. Barbaric you might want to say but this stands very true for a majority of families in our beloved country.
The truth is, our parents may have sincere reasons for insisting on early marriage, particularly for their daughters. I mean our biological makeup doesn’t even leave us much of a choice. But there are four revered myths that surround the idea of early marriage and make it particularly appealing to our parents.
AGE
A woman’s looks depreciates as she ages; it is a common believe and because of this they feel it is necessary for a woman to get married early enough when she’s still beautiful and attractive to a man otherwise she grows older and unattractive and no man would want to marry her. This is of course not true its entirety. For one, aging might cause some wrinkles but it doesn’t really depreciate a woman’s look. Besides we know of women who look stunning despite their age, even more stunning than they were when they were much younger. I honestly think age has got nothing to do with a woman’s look and with the Advent of beauty products and anti-aging formulas, a woman can be sixty and still make jaws drop.
CHILDLESSNESS
The fear of childlessness that comes with Aging. The average woman might start to experience menopause from her forties and so parents fear that their daughters might not be able to bear children (or might not have the grace of time to Birth as many as they would have wished) if they don’t get married early enough as they might already be close to their menopause stage. As silly as this sounds, it is a major issue. Firstly, some ladies can have children up to their fifties. Secondly, there are so many ways one can own a child without necessarily giving birth to a baby. You could adopt a child!
BEING A REAL WOMAN
The real proof of being a woman is having a husband: Okrrrrr….full stop! You don’t debate it or you have the society to contend with. Even Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, general overseer of Believers Loveworld also known as Christ Embassy said ” A woman was never God’s original plan, she was MADE for a MAN”. Seriously, that’s our plight in this country. A woman’s worth should never be measured with such standards. A woman could totally be single and achieve a lot. We know a lot of successful single ladies and the list still counting
SPIRITUAL PROBLEM
It could be a spiritual problem: when ladies marry early they are free from all the spiritual blackmail that comes with single and older ladies. While I cannot say if spiritual factors are involved, I believe that most times it is probably blowing things out of proportion.
Marriage is a beautiful thing that should be longed for and early marriage is great too. But a woman is totally worth more than a white gown and she should not be pressurized into marriage. It should never define her place in the society.
CONCLUSION
There is No Age Limit or Age Requirement For Getting Married but there is an Unspoken Maturity Requirement. The Most Important thing about Marriage Timing is Maturity. Both The Man and the Lady Anticipating Marriage Must Be Mentally, Financially and Emotionally Ready To be in it. A large Number Of broken Marriages can be attributed to either parties being an ineptitude. That been said, it does not mean the matured Don’t or Won’t have Turbulence But they’ll have more chances of Sailing through the Storm.