Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement. Confidence inspires trust, that’s why confidence is often the key to success in endeavors like dating and business and  it is probably why you’re reading this now. Here are tips on how you can upgrade your natural  and earned confidence :

1. Maintain calm in the storm

You see others who handle crises with certain calm and you wish you were more like them. It’s infuriating at first! What makes them seem so confident? The answer is that confident people stay calm because they know (or assume) that they can handle whatever comes their way. By contrast, non-confident people flip out. Perhaps because they cannot get an even-keeled perspective on reality, they grow more afraid they can’t handle what arises. They panic – and use that chaotic energy or high emotion to overwhelm or manipulate others and distract themselves from calmly doing the work at hand.

2. Calm your body
If you feel rising anxiety, take three extremely deep breaths all the way to the depth of your belly. Count slowly to 6 on the way in, then hold for two, then count slowly to 6 on the way out. Your metabolism will reset into calm (1).

3. Calm your mind

By recalling how you have handled difficulties in the past; by recalling your successes in the past; by bringing to the front of mind the people and resources you have available right now to help you achieve your goal; by brainstorming with a friend or colleague new resources and paths forward you might not have considered before.

4. Take a break from anxiety
Take a walk. Go work out. Cuddle a dog. Call a friend and catch up. Simply distracting your conscious mind from a problem can both calm your being and allow a solution to naturally arise from your subconscious. Whether it’s getting over a breakup or facing a tough problem at work, distracting yourself with something soothing calming yourself helps you face the crisis with confidence.

5. Be patient for solutions to arise
In an impatient era, remind yourself to be patient. Allow solutions to arise rather than trying to force them into being.

6. Feel your fear
Only by seeing your fears and facing them cleanly and clearly can you then release them peacefully. Denying your fears causes them to swirl in your mind and stomach, and only grow larger and more agitating. On the other hand, awareness is power and as the great shame researcher, Brene Brown reminds us, that is why “vulnerability is strength” (2).

7. Welcome your flaws as human
Release perfectionism; that’s for supernatural beings, not us.

8. Maintain a positive outlook

This habit creates a powerful feedback loop. The more confident you are, the more assured you are that things will likely go well. But it works the other way around as well. The more you cultivate a positive outlook, the more confident you will feel, free of the anxiety that might otherwise cripple you. So the question is, how can you maintain a positive or optimistic outlook that is authentic?

9. Identify your negative voices
Identify your negative thoughts (inner negative voices)  because until you know them, you can’t change them. One quick trick is to give inner negative voices a name, including where they might come from (“Dad”) or something made up (“The Fear Monster”). Again, clear awareness of what is occurring in your mind allows you to take control of it, rather than letting yourself be run by your random thoughts.

10. Quickly find an alternative
Create a clear positive alternative for each negative thought. (“What are three things I can do to make sure I get this project done in time?” “What can I do today to bring back intimacy in my long distance relationship?”)

11. De-clutter the negative
Clear out reminders of negative people or negative memories in your life. Any photos or knick-knacks, furniture or memorabilia. Out the door.

12. Take care of yourself and your body
Think about it  if you don’t respect your partner, your partner will grow jittery, insecure, and if they have any sense, they will leave you. So it is with your own body and mind. If you don’t respect yourself through your actions, you will crack your own confidence. Self respect leads to self-confidence.

13. Eat healthy foods
Eat healthily with occasional treats. More specifically, feed your body whole foods rather than chemically synthesized crap. Organic vegetables, white meats and fish. Nuts. Some fruits. Nothing that’s been chemically altered or Frankensteined into existence. It’s really not that hard.

14. Look sharp

Put care into your appearance your clothes, your hair, your skin. Studies show that when you dress well, you not only are treated with more respect, but you actually perform better. One famous study revealed that people who wore doctor’s lab coats actually scored higher on exams – simply because they wore the lab coats!

15. Exercise, plain and simple
Exercise intelligently and daily. Walk your 10,000 steps. Hit the gym. Your body will love you.

16. Get your sleep
Pay attention to your sleep, prepare yourself for optimal sleep by (1) writing out your next morning’s big goals (2) eliminating screen time 30 minutes before you sleep (3) reading or listening to something deep and calming before turning off the light (4) doing your gratitudes (5) making your room dark.

17. Always value your time
You will notice that confident people are not anxious. They are not worried about being late or overwhelmed. That’s because they have respected themselves enough to create a schedule that they can keep without stress, and which serves their highest good. Systems and organization create assuredness and a steady hand.

Source: Vixen Daily