At some point in one’s life, dating and being in a relationship would no longer be enough. That is the point where you become ready to take your relationship to the next level, to tie the knot. The challenge that usually arises from this most time is that partners do not have the same timing, and that conflict of timing usually puts a lot of strain on the relationship.

On one hand, there is a partner [usually the woman] who thinks that there is nothing more to do than to get married. According to her, a beautiful 2-year-old relationship is matured enough to progress into marriage. There is love, care, compatibility and all there is to see and know. There is no need for a delay any longer.

Meanwhile, the other partner [the guy in most cases] wants to wait. His timing still allows him to wait a little while, say one year or two. There is no need to rush, he believes. The relationship is beautiful, but marital conditions, precisely the financial aspect, has to be perfect.

In summary, she is ready, he is not.

No time wasting

The truth is that situations like this happen all the time, especially between partners who have been dating for over two years or more. In some other cases, you don’t even have to date that long before you feel ready enough to take the next step.

Communication is one way to deal with this. After dotting the ‘I’s and crossing the ‘T’s and he’s still not showing any sign of committing himself, you have to ask what the problem is.

Reason with him and see what his reasons are. Then decide if those reasons are logical and reasonable enough to warrant the delay.

Because men have been known to lead other women on for so long while planning to marry another, you would need to decide whether you have enough trust in him, and the luxury of time to wait on him; or if you think he’s just unduly wasting your time.

It is very difficult, but far better to move on from the undue delay and the uncertainty rather than sticking there when your real desire is not being met.

An ex who texts you could be frustrating to deal with. But have you ever wondered why he or she could be doing it?

Give him an ultimatum

When that time comes and he is not willing to take the plunge with you, one way to let him know you are not messing around is to give him a deadline to make up his mind.

This is not desperation. It is taking charge of your life and happiness. If your maximum time to date is one and a half years and it’s been over that time and he’s not making moves to commit, you have to let him know that he has six months to make up his mind. If after six months, he’s not saying anything, be ready to move on.

This is necessary because of guys who are only looking to waste your time. Some have no qualms proposing but just need that prodding to do so. Most importantly, it is called taking charge of your life.

But be sure that you are asking for a commitment from a man who cares about you, someone with whom you have a good friendship and relationship. Make sure you are asking for a commitment from him for all the right reasons and not because you are being pushed.

If you are not prepared, you don’t have to force it, this has no bearing on how long both of you has been in the relationship. Ensure you are doing this on your terms.

Finally, be sure you’re psychologically ready to move on if he refuses to propose at the end of six months. If you are not ready to walk the walk, please don’t talk the talk.

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