Removing trust, a romantic relationship can only go so far before as been destroyed, oftentimes, beyond repair.
And here’s one more thing about trust: it doesn’t stay in place forever unless it is maintained by constant communication, backed up with actions that partners perform in the best interest of the other person.
If trust gets broken, its effect on the overall wellbeing of the relationship could be quite drastic but it does not have to be final. Broken trust can be fixed, resuscitated.
Here is how to make that happen:
1. Sincere apologies
“The one who was untrustworthy must have sincere remorse,” says Paul Coleman, PsyD, an American psychologist and author.
There isn’t much to do if partners won’t first admit that they were wrong about whatever caused the relationship to break apart in the first instance.
Whether outrightly broken or still being held together ever so slightly, a relationship’s chances of getting back to full strength are hinged on this first step, this very important thing.
Be intentional about forgiving one another.
2. Fitting actions
Apologies are good only when there is a follow-up with actions. Without this sequence, apologies become meaningless and the whole rebuilding thing isn’t more than a joke.
To get back trust again, partners are supposed to demonstrate a pattern of dependable behaviour over time. That’s how trust gets solidified again.
All that said and we come to forgiveness and how much of an important role it’s got to play here.
Once you have talked about it and gone through the process of sincerely sitting down with your feelings, you can start the process of forgiving each other.
Forgiveness is a choice, but it is a choice that needs to come from an authentic place. You can’t pretend to forgive one another. You have to completely agree to come terms with it.
Be deliberate about forgiving each other.
The broken trust could be fixed, resuscitated.
4. Getting back slowly
Especially if the betrayal or conflict that disrupted the relationship was a major one, it is important for couples to get committed to rebuilding trust, treating the relationship like a new one that needs nurturing from the scratch again.
Both sides must make the demand for what they truly need and not expect their partner to just know what it is they want. Take deliberate effort towards rebuilding the romantic relationship by doing the work required in building trust and rebuilding a mutually supportive connection. Come to an agreement about what a healthy relationship looks like to you both, considering the special history you’ve had up to that point.
5. Let bygones be
If you both agree to take the step in this direction, you have to allow the past to remain in the past and begin to work on the goal that you both agreed to. Instead of harming on the past, do well to focus your energy on the present and take things one day at a time.
Leave your comments below…